


now it's my time to depart

by rabiessmasher



Category: Memeulous, WillNE
Genre: Angst, M/M, he leaves a letter before he dies, will is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:36:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23028667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabiessmasher/pseuds/rabiessmasher
Summary: will lenney hasn't been happy in a while, but he loves george.
Relationships: George Andrew/Will Lenney
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	now it's my time to depart

dear george, 

when we were younger it was so much easier. it was so easy not to put a word to how we felt. easier to just feel the moment. easier to love you.

i've always loved you.

since the first time i saw you, sitting on my end of alex's couch, with a big bright smile from the aftershocks of your loud laughter.

alex met you first.

i resent that. i really do. because wouldn't it have been better if we met on our own? if we would've met in a café. maybe then our story would have a much cuter start? let's imagine it. i walk into the café where i usually get my morning coffee. i manage to walk two steps from the door before i walk right into this short flustered boy in front of me. i would immediately fall for your innocent looking bright eyes. doesn't that sound much better than falling for the way you scream at your best friend for losing your favourite pokemon card?

to me it doesn't sound that much better.  
you're perfect.  
the way we met is perfect.  
we're perfect.  
but cute just doesn't sound like us, does it? but i guess you could say that about a lot of things.

love doesn't sound like us.  
we were known for being bad at love. we both broke hearts after hearts without hesitating. then of course, maybe we never felt love before our love. maybe the two of us were meant to only find love in each other. at least alex and james thought so.

god we were toxic.  
weren't we toxic, georgie? like mosquitoes just sucking up all the love we had for each other and leaving so much pain behind.

because love was a scary thing.  
and we were so bad at it, baby.

crying didn't seem like us either. we both hated crying. we hated people who cried a lot.

but of course we turned into them. because don't you always hate the parts of a person that's most like yourself?

we cried a lot. way too much.

i remember being overwhelmed when you asked me if it was worth it. all the crying. all the issues, all the anger. but of course it was. and even now, i still believe our love was worth it.

the way we fell in love wasn't perfect. it was heartbreaking, toxic and straight up awful. you had a girlfriend gee, do you remember her? i don't know if you do, but i think about her sometimes. the way she made me so jealous at first with that bright happy smile.

and then it changed.

you started looking for me. trying to catch my glance when your girlfriend was talking. she talked too much for your liking. i hated how it felt kind of exciting knowing you had more interest in me than you had in your girlfriend. but i did love you. 

i still think about her quite a lot. especially her eyes. she had these bright blue eyes. pools of life you could say.  
they had this certain sparkle in them, almost hypnotising. that's why i remember them even after these four years.  
i remember the way they shone when she was happy, making it nearly impossible for people around her to stop smiling.  
i remember the way they looked when she was worried. she was worried a lot, about you, about me, about everything.  
i remember the way she looked when she was sad. the way it hurt me to my core. the way the sparkle had gone matte and blurry. like the life had drained out of her.

the worst thing is that she was a good person too. she was worried about me when my depression got worse. she could see that i didn't have much hope left. even though you didn't love her, i did. she was the sweetest girl i'd ever encountered. i hated that i couldn't just hate her. it would've been so much easier. but our lives were never easy after we met.

when you started drifting away from her i had to face those matte, blurry, blue eyes in tears. like crystals, shining. her tears just as perfect as she was. i was the one who had to tell her about us, you know. that hurt me a lot. as it would hurt anyone

you know what else doesn't sound like us, baby?  
being gentle.  
in all senses of the word, our love was rough. everything from our kisses, to our fights, to our sex, to our way of communicating. but it used to have an upside to it. i can’t remember what it was to be certain, but i know it used to be there. 

so, you’re probably wondering why i made you read this. the thing is, i know our love is hard to manage. no question about it. and it’s been even harder recently. but i want you to know that’s not our fault. sometimes it just falls apart. sometimes people just fall apart. sometimes i fall apart. 

george. you’re the love of my life.  
i wish every single day from now on will at least be bearable. because they haven’t been for me in a while. the thing is, that the one thing that’s always kept me alive, is you. your laugh. your stupid jokes. your eyes. your mind. everything about you. 

until now at least.  
it’s not like you’re not enough, because you’re the one thing that makes all of my days better. but i’m not enough anymore. i can’t fight it. i’m falling apart. and i wish i could stay longer. i really wish i could, baby. but i can’t. and i’m so sorry for making you go through this. i know you’ll always have james and alex and i hope that’s enough for now. 

i know you can find someone else. someone who deserves you. someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. and i know i’ll be watching to cheer you on. i hope you’ll have the happiest future ever, even if it’s without me. i hope you won’t hate me. i have so much hope for you, but not for me anymore. so i’m afraid i have to do this. 

i’ll love you forever and always, baby. take care of yourself. 

will xx


End file.
